1 Tip to Facilitate Better Small Group Conversation

A core aspect to the High Pointe Youth Ministry is the connecting groups that are led each week by 2-4 adult leaders. In fact this dynamic is evident in youth ministries all across the country. A group led by adults with teens can be very rewarding or very draining. There are several dynamics that can make or break a group, but the one I want to focus on is the power of facilitating conversation. I often hear that teens will not talk or how do I get them (the teens) to open up. Here is one practical tip that I try to practice on a regular basis.


7 Second Wait Time - The best educators know that there needs to be a wait time or silence between a question and a response. Most of the time our anxiety gets the best of us after asking a question and if no one responds within a second or two seconds we respond thinking that no one is ever going to talk. Take time to frame your question in such a way that is clear and concise and then allow 7 seconds for someone to respond. There are several benefits to a 7 second wait time. You can read about the research here and the power behind waiting in silence. (I did not just make 7 up because it sounded like a good number.)

Experiment with this in conversations and your own small group environment. Embrace the silence and allow someone to respond to your question. Beside you asked the question there is no reason for you to answer the question. This takes time and practice. Be still and listen. 

(In fair disclosure this started out as a blog with 3 tips, but then I realized this one tip is enough to make a group build trust and rapport with one another with others speak up and fill the silence with their own personal thoughts. I will write the other tips in a later post.)