Baby #2 Coming Soon

Jessica will be due Feb. 2012. We are looking forward to adding another amazing child into our family. Please keep us in your prayers.

It's Your Move--Orange Conference Opening Night

Tonight Reggie Joiner had the author of Same Kind of Different As Me Ron Hall share a few inspirational stories about Denver and their friendship that developed. The book is great and the brief conversation that Reggie had was good. The one quote that I wanted to share was this:

"We worship a homeless man on Sunday, but often ignore the homeless man on Monday."

Enough said...get the book. (One thing about the book, every page is engaging and heartfelt. I was actually moved to tears several times when I read the book two years ago).

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Also tonight Andy Stanley was the main stage speaker and delivered a great message as always. To be honest I am not sure how it totally connected with the theme of the conference "It's Your Move" but nonetheless he gave us some great points to ponder.

In essence; "We are stewards of the message of eternal life. We are stewards of the message of a better life here on this earth."

• He went on to talk about the pagan culture and religion when the church was birthed. 
• This perspective was totally counter culture to what was happening in the time of Jesus. 
• Compassion and generosity was what propelled the church out of the first century. 
• We may lose sight of what this country (the U.S.) really has in light of our nation being transformed by a Biblical world view. 
• Andy tied in Galatians 5:16-45 and stated how the Spirit of God drives our decisions. Paul was writing this to a pagan culture and the church that was being birthed was reminded about how this was against the nature around them, but to continue to move forward with acts of love, peace, joy, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control. 

This is a brief snapshot and putting a conference experience in as few as words as possible. 

What is my action plan in light of tonight's message?

There are people who are waiting for me to make a move that is bigger than myself and bigger than a program. Allow the Spirit of God to move in the direction that He desires and not what I desire?

Creating One Action Item for Class Sessions at Orange

I am currently in Atlanta for my first Orange Conference and I am impressed with the level of engagement that the people at ReThink have created. Over the last several years they have been challenging ministry leaders to ask the question; "What would it look like for the church and family to work together in a seamless strategy to reach the next generation for Christ?" There are tons of ideas, books, speakers, resources, and a plethora of people engaging in the pre-conference today asking various questions around this topic. Many times going to any conference one easily feels overwhelmed with the amount of information and will easily get confused on what action to take when they arrive home. My encouragement to those attending would be to pick one takeaway idea from each session that you can take action on when you arrive home. I have not always done this, but this is what I did when I went to the D6 Conference in the fall and it allowed me an easy overview and one page review to send to my elders as well. Here are my suggestions:

1. Take notes and scribble as much as possible. Try not to limit yourself on what you hear, but try and capture the essence of what the speaker is saying. If you feel overwhelmed just keep writing. You will have time to process later. 
2. Immediately at the end of the class ask yourself, "What one idea or thought do I want someone else to know from this class or session?" Take this one idea and write it down at the top of the page that you took notes on. Highlight the idea so you can easily find it later. 
3. An idea is dead unless you create an action item. This one may be more difficult, but this is when you ask yourself what action steps need to happen when I get home in light of this one idea. For example and action step could be; "I need to schedule a 45 minute meeting over coffee with a parent to ask them if they will lead this or that program." You may not need an action plan for each big idea, but it is important to consider how each idea is integrated into your strategy back home. 

Coming to a conference is refueling and refreshing. Some could day it is like camp for adults and ministry leaders. As we all know the camp "high" often only last a few days maybe a few weeks. So go ahead have fun, take, notes, ask the questions, and create an action plan. Either you have invested time, money and energy to be here or your church has created the budget for you to be here. Either way start thinking now on small steps of what does this mean back home and what action steps will I take to make it happen. 

"It's Your Move"

Kennedie Loves Books

Umm...this one looks good. 

Really I just love making a mess. 

Will you...

Today vs 6 Days Ago

Today Feb. 4th -- 24 degrees

6 Days Ago Jan. 29th -- 74 degrees

And It Makes My Heart...

...want to sing.

Started crawling Jan. 7th, 2011. 

Love the open mouth kisses.

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And It makes my heart want to sing. 


(Lyrics and Song by Chris Tomlin.)




What makes you sing?

Do you Shutter?

Do you use Shutterfly for printing of your favorite memories of family and friends? Do you use it for ministry so members of the church or youth group can access and print off pictures? If not here are a few reasons why I think you should use Shutterfly. (I have not used it for the second reason but it has some great programs to host your pictures with a custom url.)

We have used Shutterfly several times over the last few years. We have printed off favorite pictures that we want to treasure. We printed off several from our Europe trip last summer and have framed those in the house as our personal art work. Earlier this year we used their cards for Kennedie's birth announcement. And in 6 months I am sure we will use them to order Kennedie's birthday party invitation cards. We used them a couple of years ago for our Christmas card, last year we did a video card at Vimeo. This year we are returning to the traditional Christmas card though.

For ministry related I have dreamt of making a calendar of all the pictures of prior year events and activities, but one that also highlights the upcoming activities as well. Right now this is still a dream, but maybe it can happen or maybe you can steal the idea and make it happen for your ministry.

Ok, so let me brag on Jessica for a second. She had her first official and unofficial photo shoot and she is hosting those pictures on Shutterflys public share account with a personal url. The pictures are of one of the Seniors in our youth ministry at High Pointe.

You can grab 50 free cards yourself to give Shutterfly a chance.

Rules Without Relationship

This is the second guest post from the D6 Conference by Josh Kellar.

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I leaned over to my friend sitting next to me at the D6 conference and asked, “Have you ever heard this guy?” He gave me a skeptical, “no” with an eyebrow raised right about the time an older gentleman in a wildly colorful shirt approached the microphone. “He’s so fun-,” I began but was interrupted by Dr. Kevin Leman’s first words, “I’m colorblind.” The audience chuckled and settled into their seats, excited that the second day of the main conference was beginning with a laugh.

How do we get our children and teenagers to understand the authority of the parent and the ultimate authority of God in the home? “Give your kids a little vitamin ‘N’,” Dr. Leman would interject into one of his role-plays of a 4 year old asking for a cookie. “An unhappy child is a healthy child.” The time seemed to pass too quickly.  I had to look back to the gigantic screen to remind myself the question he was addressing.  

While Dr. Leman’s address was light-hearted, the question is one of enormous magnitude.  The rising generation seems to be going through a fundamental shift in their view of authority.  Pinpointing the reasons behind the change did not seem to concern Dr. Leman.  He didn’t look or talk like someone who desired to philosophize on the post-modern paradigm.  His advice was simple and practical. “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.”  The takeaway was manageable.  Dr. Leman gives parents the permission to assume an authoritative role but cautions parents to only use it through a healthy relationship with their child.

A healthy relationship for Dr. Leman is one where boundaries present clear lines of who is in charge. “If you bring up a kid thinking he is the center of the universe there’s no room for God.” The connection he made was simple.  If parents do not assume an authoritative role in their home, children grow up thinking they are their own authority figure.  This leaves little room for God as a voice to be listened to.  Being an authority is not simply about exerting power over our children.  When we tell children, “no” and establish boundaries, they learn that there are expectations of them.  Failing to live by these expectations produces consequences.  When parents fail to establish boundaries and carry out consequences, the hidden message communicated to the child is that they can live by their own set of rules.  If there are no consequences for a parent’s rules, children are not going to learn that there consequences for sin. This rules out a need for God’s grace and in turn a need of a savior. 

“Hey! Would you kids turn that TV down! I’m trying to do your homework!”

A world where kids are the center of the universe puts kids in the position of authority.  Parenting through boundaries and relationship not only helps kids understand the authority of the parent but sets the child up to know the ultimate that God is the all-powerful one.

Josh Kellar is the Children’s Minister with the Fourth Avenue Church in Franklin, TN.  He enjoys listening to God on the journey of parenting. He blogs at www.joshuakellar.blogspot.com

Why Do Students Walk Away from their Faith?

This is a guest post from Gina McClain. I am honored to have Gina willing to post her thoughts from the D6 conference. She hits on the high points from Vicki Courtney's keynote. 

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Why Do Students Walk Away from their Faith? 

As it relates to teens, we’re in a culture where we need to be honest with parents.  Parents are scared. They don’t know what to do.  We can be there as a church to let parents know , “We want to come alongside you to help."

This statement caught my attention quickly.  Vicki Courtney, author of books like 5 Conversations You Must Have with your Daughter, launched into a great conversation about the underlying causes that encourage our kids to turn their backs on their faith. 

Vicki believes the primary root cause of youth leaving their faith behind is simple. 

They don’t know Christ to begin with.

Because we call them ‘churched’ youth does not mean they are Christians.  We do so much harm (eternally speaking) when we make assumptions that ‘walking the aisle’ at a young age = life changed if their life does not reflect change.

A bold theory.  And I think Vicki makes a great point.  We make many assumptions about a student’s/child’s spiritual decision simply because they followed a prescribed pattern.  (I.e. they recited a prayer, walked the aisle, responded to an alter call, etc, etc)

I’m one of those odd people that is really okay with the messiness of ministry.  In my opinion growth in Christ is rarely formulaic.  There are certainly disciplines/habits that lend to increased intimacy with Jesus.  However, we all know that when they become ritualistic it’s no longer about Him and more about me.  The depth of my relationship with Christ is reflected in the extent of my life-change.  The transformation brought about by the Holy Spirit through the renewing of my mind. 

And the proof is in the pudding… or (more scripturally speaking) in the fruit. 

As ministry leaders we will always exist in that tension where we encourage parents, kids and students.  But ‘encourage’ doesn’t mean we don’t ever level with them.  The challenge is figuring out how to lovingly communicate to mom or dad that if their student’s behavior/actions don’t align with that of one who knows Christ then they have to ask the question… do they truly know Christ? 

The truth is too irresistible to not be transformed by it. 

Gina McClain is the Children’s Ministry Director of Faith Promise Church.  She’s addicted to coffee, stumbles over her words and often leaves people with lots of material for a comedic routine.  She also blogs at ginamcclain.com

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity

Parenting Beyond Your Capacity on Prezi

D6 Conference Review

I will post one or two specific thoughts about the conference, but this a quick highlight of 3 days. Coming up I will have 3 people who will write their perspective about the D6 Conference. Oh, and this will be the first time to have guest bloggers. 

Overview:

The overarching theme of the 3 day conference last week in Frisco was that faith must start at home. The church needs to provide scaffolding for families so they can be the ones who are seen as the primary spiritual role models and influencers. The “D6” model is based upon what we find in Deuteronomy 6 about the family.

Key Concepts:

You reach a family for Christ you can change the world or at least another generation.

The church must equip mothers and fathers to equip their children.

 A D6 model must return to the natural authenticity of the early church and not consume a program.

 Connect people to three simple themes. As an example if everyone can identify these questions: Who is God? What is true? Why am I here?

Creating environments for connection.

 Family groups--Small group idea, but it incorporates the entire family instead.

 Celebrating life stage milestones as a church community.

 The current generation view God as a Moralistic, Therapeutic, Deism.

 The church has created silos of ministry, but must integrate them in a strategic way.

 Add a faith skill per year for parents. You motivate, model, practice, and provide. 

 Faith at home is a simple strategy containing only 3-4 components in a language that everyone understands    for the entire church.

 Discipleship and missions begins in the home.

 This is a process to see our life in Christ as a way, not a program.

Personal Takeaway:

My primary ministry is my family!

As a minister I must align, equip, resource, and provide wins for the parents.

Steps to any transformation must start on on our knees. Neh. 1:4 (starts with prayer and fasting), theology, personal, buy in, implementing practices, start it to see it through for many years to come. It is like turning a cruise ship.

·         Reclaiming and Rediscovering the beauty and connection between the great commission and families could change the world.

Th

     The nature of any conference is that it is similar to drinking from a fire hydrant. This is brief, but I will continue to process from the fire hydrant and maybe narrow it down to a glass. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. 

Beautiful Girls

Have you seen my beautiful girls lately?

If not check out this picture of Kennedie and her mom.

I tried to compare a picture of myself to Kennedie, but I could not find a picture of myself in a dress.

God is so good!

Are teens really 'fake' Christians?

Are some adults really 'fake' Christians?

Yes.

So it would only make sense that teens are going to be 'fake' Christians as well.

Jesus called these people hypocrites.

Are there Christians both adult and teen who need to own up to their faith walk with Jesus Christ?

Yes.

This article from CNN is circling the social landscape about how more teens are becoming 'fake' Christians.

Some of the most mature and Christ like people I know are teens. I have seen teens put on Christ in baptism who are ready to storm the gates of hell, but often times their faith, desire, and passion gets smashed when they realize that the church and parents sometimes do not follow Christ into the same baptism of dying to self to live in Him.

However, this article does have a few good talking points.

"We think that they want cake, but they actually want steak and potatoes, and we keep giving them cake," 


"Many teenagers thought that God simply wanted them to feel good and do good -- what the study's researchers called "moralistic therapeutic deism."


Two different perspective. Both of which I have seen in youth ministry. Teens are longing to wrestle with the truths of the Bible, but often times we are focused on the wrong objectives in youth ministry. The other being MTD or moralistic therapeutic deism, it prevalent because we have shifted our paradigm of who God truly is in our life. 




What are your thoughts about 'fake' Christians in light of the article? 






(Picture: sxu)

More Conversations About the 20 Somethings

Just in case you thought I was lying yesterday about the NY Times article and how every is talking about it...well I wanted to point you to two great blogs I read and what they posted today.

Orange Leaders

Seth Barnes

If I come across other blogs I will just link to them here on this post.

Launching Into Adulthood

One of the responsibilities I feel as a youth minister is mentoring high school students as they prepare for college and adulthood or what many would call their next phase in life. For several years I have been confused with many young adults or late adolescence who seem like they have no desire to grow up and move on from their parents womb. The occurrence appears to be a major talking point now for ministry leaders and the national media. This article in the New York Times Magazine section has been circulating across Facebook and I even have had two people email me the article last week.

There are a couple of things that we should be having conversations about whether you agree or disagree about late adolescence going into early to mid 20 year olds. Here are a few questions:

How can we as ministers help teens navigate life's journey into adulthood?
One thing we must do is build a network of adult mentors who are involved in the teens life starting in high school and going through college. This idea is not new it is actually found in Titus 2 about the older men teaching the younger men and likewise the older women should teach the younger women.

What is the church going to do about this group 18-25 who does not feel as if they belong to a church?
Other thing discipling or mentoring, the church must start to put young adolescence in a service role in the body of Christ. They must learn and grow to realize that they are not a segment of the body, but they are the body. We must move beyond teens consuming church, to being consumed by an Almighty God.

Why are some parents choosing to allow their kids to be dependent on his or her parents finances beyond what is appropriate?
I will never forget getting the phone call from my mother about a month before I graduated from LCU how how she revealed the news to me that I will be responsible for my rent after May and that I might want to look into health insurance because I would no longer be covered. In essence, a huge element to one growing into independence is cutting off the ATM machince or should I say the parents must turn the ATM off.

What are your thoughts about the article on the late adolescent conversation that is happening?


(Picture: sxu) 

God's Gracious Gift

Words cannot express the emotions that I have experienced over the last few days.

This is a gracious gift from God and I am not deserving of such an amazing creation. I praise His name for creating Kennedie and choosing me to be her dad.

I have only started to get a glimpse of God's love for me over the last few days and His unending and gracious love.

Kennedie's First Days

We are truly blessed with amazing friends in Las Vegas. Here are some of those friends who had an opportunity to come and visit Kennedie in the hospital. Thanks for showing us support, and love while we celebrate this gift from God together.

She's Here

 Kennedie Danyelle Howard

6 lbs 7 oz
20 inches
2:46am

Hurry Up and Wait

So we are here at the hospital waiting for Kennedie to make her grand arrival.

Nothing like having a little patience. 

You can follow at Facebook or on Twitter for updates.