Come Alive

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

This prompt  is something that I have had several conversations with people about. This idea of contentment. We live in a society that breeds discontentment and we grow tired and weary because we are chasing after the wind. 

The things that make me come most alive is being with people and hearing their stories of life. However, this is an area I need to focus on and get rid of my to do list and focus on being more present with relationships and taking time to build those relationships. 

One Sentence Each Day

Today's prompt for the 30 day experiment using quotes from authors and Ralph Waldo Emerson is...

Day 2 Prompt

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance 

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

Today is one sentence:

Experienced a tension between buying a true piece of quality equipment versus going with a less expensive option, quality won the battle. 

15 Minutes to Live

I am a follower of Seth Godin and what he continues to create. He moves me to action and action is what I have needed after a month of not writing on this blog. So here is the motivation the next 30 days. 

Every day  The Domino Project will email me a prompt and my response is to write about the prompt. I will attempt to blog my portion of the prompt's to get me moving once again on my blog. You can read more about the project here.

Day 1 Prompt

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson 

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.
1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.2. Write the story that has to be written.

To be honest this was difficult and I put it off until the end of the day. I am not much of a storyteller and often have a hard time telling or retelling a story. So my prompt led me not to write a story, but write encouraging others to write their story. In a sense, I found my voice echoing what it means to live a good story. 

--The story that must be written is a short book and a collection of inspirational quotes that moves people to action. This book is about navigating life and the trials and conflicts that come our way. Many people are stuck with mediocrity, but God has designed us for more. More life, not more stuff; a life abundant.

Everyone faces conflict's and it seems that most everyone is stuck and often we do not move beyond the conflict when we are faced with one. Those conflicts lead to addictions, weight gain, depression, loneliness, divorce, and the like. When conflict arise we find ourselves stuck in front of a media screen. A media screen does not move us to action. Instead it keeps us from leaning into the conflict and growing from the conflict. 

This story is a story about you. A story that moves you in a direction to engage in relationships and a life abundant. Possibly this is not for everyone because not everyone is stuck. However, for those that desire to move beyond themselves we must realize that we have been hurt by relationships that cause us to get stuck, but we have to take action to be present with new relationships as God moves us in a direction that is new and fresh. This is about you creating a story, not writing a story. 

Poke the Box

Seth Godin faces the resistance everyday. The difference between Seth and most everyone else is that he choose to push through the resistance and create. He is an artist. He is a creator. He wants you to do work that matters. Right now you can get the March 1st release of Poke the Box for one dollar.


Poke The Box from Seth Godin on Vimeo.

Want to know more about Poke the Box or the Domino Project go here.

Interchangeable Words

Happy and Joy.

Can you use these words interchangeably? 

Both are emotional.

 

One is temporal.

One is eternal.

There is a difference, but not sure that we know how to use these two words. 

I see happy as a feeling that can come and go like the wind. 

I see joy as a feeling of a deep seeded belief and conviction that is like the roots of an oak tree.

Not sure...what do you think is there a difference?

 

Taking Action

My brain is filled with stuff. When I say stuff I am referring to my never ending to-do list, prayer list, class notes, ideas for a project, and all the randomness that I try to sort through on a daily basis. I am a organized person, but just because I am organized does not mean that I am efficient and often I do not get things done today that should have been done yesterday.

Recently, I have started using the Action Method Online to try and create synergy in my daily life and work flow environment. If you are anything like me than you understand the value of being organized, but wish there was a better method to the madness. I have used my email inbox as my to do list, post it notes scattered on my desk, and the ever so trendy moleskin to try and accomplish important matters.

All of the madness is finally making sense because I am using Action Method Online on my home computer, work computer, and an app for my iPhone. If you are like me than you need to start taking action because your projects and ideas are to important not to get shipped out the door. In Seth Godin terms this is allowing me to smash my lizard brain on a daily basis because I am choosing to ship and take action.


What do you use to take action? How is that working for you? 

Communication and Alignment

We are all leaders in a system. You may lead at home, school, a business, little league coach, etc. The point is many people are failing the tribes they are leading due to a lack of communication. Effective communication happens within the context of a conversation. The quote below summarizes what happens when communication fails.

The following quote is from Michael Hyatt's (CEO of Thomas Nelson) blog earlier this week as he announced his partnership with SoChuch.

"I know that effective communication is critical. You can’t maintain organizational alignment without it. And if you can’t maintain alignment, you will fail in your mission. Period."

How are you doing in your communication?

Do you know your mission?

What are doing to maintain organizational alignment?

Book Review: Everyone Communicates Few Connect

John Maxwell has done an outstanding job in his latest book in Everyone Communicates Few Connect



This book is not for everyone because some do not have a desire to connect. This book is only for those who wish to improve his or her connecting skills and abilities. The book is practical and the language of the book echo's Maxwell's writing style. There are numerous quotes that he uses to frame a chapter or a section around that one quote. Neither good or bad that is how Maxwell writes. Occasionally Maxwell seems to "bragging" about his success or possibly he is being relational and showing how he has used the principles in the book to connect with others.

Here are a few practical tips that may seem like common sense to most, but unfortunately common sense does not mean we implement these traits into our daily life. Three questions that we long to know when connecting;

• Do you care for me?
• Can you help me?
• Can I trust you?

Finding common ground in relationships is important and overlooked. To overcome this one needs to ask questions and explore the other person's interest. This can be done by what some would say "playing ignorant" in your conversations. Once you approach someone as a "know it all" or arrogant walls are built and connection is lost. Asking questions allows you to be in a place of humility  and sometimes this may be achieved best by playing ignorant. This principle has to do with simplicity in speech or what Maxwell said as "talk to, not above." People are longing for conversations not debates. Practice humility by asking genuine questions. Here are a few questions to help you connect;

• What do you dream about?
• What do you sing about?
• What do you cry about?

A highlight from the book is the guide at the end of each chapter that explores connecting one-on-one, in a group, and in a audience. This is a book that everyone needs to practice, but the reality is only a few will implement these practices in his or her daily life.

One area he did not address is the need to disconnect from our media, cell phones, TV,  Facebook, Twitter and the numerous other outlets that are causing us to lose this idea of presence and how that helps us connect with others.

--
Another book review from Thomas Nelson and Booksneeze.com

Life is Lived in the Gray

Donald Miller had a great post the other day that we all need to consider. Here is a quote from that blog post to consider.

Black-and-white thinking is attractive because it’s reductionistic, it simplifies everything so we don’t really have to comprehend. It allows us to feel intelligent without understanding, and once we are intelligent, we feel superior. People who don’t agree with us are just dumb.

I have heard many times over the last couple of years that life is lived in the gray and when we do reduce life to black and gray we are not only short changing ourselves, but those around us as well.


How does this post from Donald miller echo with you?

Audio: The Art of Telling Stories in Your Family

You can listen to the sermon from this weeks post about The Art of Telling Stories in Your Family.

The link above will open as a MP3 that is hosted on Dropbox.

Or you can read a brief overview of Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 in reference to the audio format.

The Art of Telling Stories in Your Family -- Part 3

This brings us full circle to the end of Deuteronomy 6 and Part 1 in The Art of Telling Stories in Your Family.

At the end of Deuteronomy 6 a son asks his father, "What is the meaning...?"

You see all stories begin with a question. We must begin to ask questions of one another so we can hear each others Egyptian story.

There is a problem most have with sharing our stories due to what I call in Part 2 the commercialization of the family. The art of not only telling stories, but asking questions needs enlightenment. Questions are the catalyst that leads to connection.

We have an enormous amount of communication, but few meaningful connections of one another including our very own family members. Everyone is communicating through social networking, reading the news, watching TV, and listening to the radio to only mention a few mediums of communications.

Sensory overload within all the mass communications has led many of our relationship to lack the power of presence. Sure we all communicate, but are we slowing down enough to connect?

Our stories have value. Our stories deserve to be told to future generations.

May we come to realize the value in asking questions so the stories of how Christ freed us can transform generations to come.

Everyone Communicates

Today you communicated in several hundred different ways. Not only verbal and nonverbal, but you communicated today via a mass array of social networking sites, email, texting, and possibly at least one phone conversation.

The reality is that we have many options when it comes to communicating with others, but we often lack the emotional connection of our communication.

Many times we confuse marital communication with connectedness. In other words it is easy to confuse connectedness with communication. Just because you are communicating does not mean you are connecting.

I can Tweet, text, email, or even post something on my Facebook wall, but the reality is few connect or interact and build upon that medium of communication.

The present reality in business, churches, marriages, and families, is that those who live a good story or make the world a better place will make connections, not just communication.

Go and make connections via your communication.

How would you define communication versus connection?


(Picture: fodor)

Leadership 2.0...This Includes You

Recent conversation nugget between myself and a friend:

"Only 5% of leaders will realize a situation and make proper adjustments. Others will freeze in light of the current plight, the remaining portion will be in a cascading spiral of destruction."

This has been evident in the last few weeks within the political arena. This a current reality of the financial meltdown. In fact, this small statement is true with everything from marriages to churches to counseling.

To avoid this read about Leadership 2.0 and what is required for all leaders including, parents, spouses, CEO, ministers, and therapist.

Michael Hyatt describes the new leadership era on the Catalyst website as this:

"Leadership 2.0 embraces change. Like Web 1.0, old-style leadership was fairly static. Leaders resisted change and were more focused on preserving the status quo. However, Leadership 2.0 embraces change. New-style leaders are on the cutting edge of experimentation. If something doesn’t work, they change course quickly. They are more concerned about driving the right outcomes than maintaining business-as-usual."

Other things mentioned that this new leadership era needs to have; transparency, engagement, community, and a few other great nuggets.

Be sure to go over and read the remaining points from Leadership 2.0


(Photo: zowiedust)

Traveled with Donald Miller

Ok...so I really didn't travel with him, but I read Through Painted Deserts this weekend while being laid up sick in bed. This is not a review of the book, I just wanted to capture what he learned while traveling from Houston to the Northwest. Ok...so I did not capture this, Don wrote it down and I wanted to share it with you.

"Relationships between men and women indicate something of the nature of God--that is He is relational, that He feels love and loss. It's a metaphor, and the story is about us; it's about all of us who God made, and God himself, just enjoying each other. It strikes me how far the commercials are from this reality, how deadly they are, perhaps. Months ago I would have told you life was about doing, about jumping through the religious hoops, about impressing other people, and my actions would have told you this is done by buying more possessions or keeping a good image or going to church. I don't believe that anymore. I think we are supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming way of life."

We cannot try to reduce God down to logarithm (some math thing) or make Him fit in a perfect little box. God is a relational God. That's what I desire; to be relational with God and others. Through this I pray my life will overflow in worship, love, sacrifice, and living by faith.

(Photo depicts my mother sharing her overflowing love with a gentle woman in Abilene, TX)

3 Stories about a Restaruant: Story # 3

There is a restaurant I take people to, not solely because of the food, but because the staff makes connections.

This local restaurant will grow in the years to come. The business model is about service and connection. Sure they have a few employees that are just doing their job, but the leader and owner of the company makes connections with everyone.

I have sat and watched in amazement about his ability to connect with his customers.

I feel unique and special when I go to his restaurant because he cares about where I have been and what I have been doing.

Then I realize he makes this same connection with several of his customers.

He is unique. He is a Linchpin.

He delivers connection and creates an environment that I desire to go to and in fact I am often bummed when he is not around.

This is the final story about 3 restaurants and how connection affects everything you do.

(Image: chrisk4u)

3 Stories about a Restaruant: Story # 2

Last month I received my meal for free from the managers of two different restaurants.

They did this because we have a connection.

They gave a gift.

Both of these restaurants I frequent...for the food and for the connection.

Are you making a connection?

Are you giving gifts?

Move to the next level of connection and the art of giving gifts by reading Seth Godin's book Linchpin.

(Image: aka mars)

3 Stories about a Restaruant: Story # 1

There was a restaurant I went to weekly sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. Then they moved locations over 16 months ago. I have been twice in 16 months. The location is only 3 minutes different, but the atmosphere and the level of connection has changed. I went to this restaurant for the food and the friendship with the owners. Now you walk in and are greeted by a hostess and the owners are in the back. You see they changed there simple model of connecting now the once small local joint is like any other restaurant in town, little connection.

Sure...they knew who I was last time I was there. We made small talk and then they disappeared into the back.

People want connection.

Have you changed your model to gain a few more dollars?

Or do you even care that I have only been twice in 16 months?

Don't disappear...keep connecting!

(Image: catalin82)

Announcing A Huge Piece of 2010

September we found out that we would be expecting our first child in May of 2010.

Christmas morning we opened the card stating the sex of our child!

Although we are 21 weeks into this whole pregnancy thing the realization that we are on the downhill side (19 weeks until the 40 week period) is starting to hit home.

Well, I have been trying to figure out what this piece of 2010 is going to look like and what I can do with the arrival of our first kid.

Yesterday morning during my workout God placed two very clear question on my heart and mind:

What does it mean to be a father to a daughter?

and

What do I want my daughter to know?

So with the announcement of our daughter I started a small project yesterday and look forward to unraveling pieces of that here on this blog in the 19 weeks remaining until our beautiful daughter arrives.

7 Elements to 2010

I have spent time during December and this week thinking about 2010 and the story I want to create within the context of God's bigger story of redeeming man. The story is not complete, but I have narrowed down 7 elements that need to be in my 2010 story.

Spiritual

• How does my relationship with Christ grow this year?

Martial

• What can I do to build upon 5 great years of marriage as I invest in Jessica and our marriage?

Relational

• Who do I need to go deeper with in our relationship and who needs to be reached out to for a deeper relationship?

Physical

• What do I want to accomplish in my new passion of endurance events?

Occupational

• How can I become the best therapist and minister with the gifts God has given me?

Financial

• What debts do we have and how can we save and give more?

Personal

• What are the uncharted territories that I have only dreamed about and now it is time to start?

Within these 7 elements I narrowed the focus after pondering over these areas by listing 3 ideas under each one. This is continued work in progress this week and I will share more about my 2010 story and some of the more well defined areas after talking with Jessica and several friends who are going through their own process of creating a meaningful 2010.

(Image: Trond Gjerde)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Thanks to everyone for engaging in this blog during 2009.

This has been a memorable year and I look forward to the story that will enfold in 2010.

There are many plans and dreams rattling in my head, but I am praying for His guidance and will in the New Year.

For now I will be silent on here for the next week until after the New Year gets rolling.

May you continue to seek His face and mercy as we all humbly walk with Him in the coming days.